Wednesday 11 July 2012

How to Give Personal Space (Guy)


Giving personal space to someone can be quite difficult. Especially if it's a best friend or the opposite sex. We are all human and we need time to ourselves and to a particular person or people.

Steps

  1. 1
    Leave her alone!!! She needs alone time from you. If you keep bothering her about a situation both of you are trying to fix, DROP IT! You will just make it worse than it already is. It also depends on what the situation is.

  2. 2
    Ask her friends about her if she's okay. ONLY if she is not there and if they are okay with it.
  3. 3
    If you run into her at any time in the hallways at school, just say hi to her. That's it.
  4. 4
    Do something you enjoy, such as an after school activity or what you enjoy at home. It's highly recommended if you get involved in sports to get your mind off the person you really like.

Tips

  • If you ask her friends to talk to them in private and if she's in the conversation, she will glare at you and will think you are talking about her.
  • Don't touch her, hug, hold her hand or kiss her. That's a big violation to her.
  • If you are angry by all means, DO NOT HIT OR HURT HER!!! She will probably turn you in and has had enough of you and she will never talk to you again forever.

Warnings

  • DON'T talk about her to someone unless it's someone you REALLY trust.
  • Don't do anything stupid; that's very serious and she will know about it.

How to Be a Good Girlfriend


You've just landed the man of your dreams. Now that you've found him, let him know how much you appreciate his presence in your life by being a good girlfriend.

Steps

Take it slowly

  1. 1
    Take it slowly. Easing into a relationship is about ensuring that there is plenty of space for the two of you to get to know one another and trust that you're right for one another. If you try too soon to "make" something more out of your relationship than it already is, premature pushiness can scare him away and spoil what is 'there' to be a good thing. Instead, practice patience and realize that it takes time to nurture a solid and enduring relationship. As part of this, it's recommended that you be careful with the following things:

    • Realize that the initial sparks of attraction are seductive and bewitching. Falling for someone can cause your senses to mistake his intentions as being more serious than they really are yet. The beginning is a precious time when you both feel like you're walking on air just because you're together. Eventually this phase will pass and you'll hit bumps in the road that will test your relationship and during those times you'll both look back to the memories from the beginning to remember why you're in it. So make the most of this magical time and don't try to fast forward it.
    • Allow the idea of being boyfriend/girlfriend to mature on its own. Don't push him to call you his girlfriend after a couple of dates; this risks causing him to feel that the decision wasn't his own. Be patient and let him make up his own mind as to when the word slips out. If you're compatible, it'll happen soon enough.
    • Quit dreaming about big weddings, white dresses and what your name will look like with his last name tagged onto it. The possibility of marrying this guy is light years away in most cases, if at all. Deluding yourself into thinking this guy into your future without establishing a sound base for your love together now is not healthy and if he gets an inkling that this is how you're thinking, he'll bolt. Don't start talking about marriage and children before you've even met his friends or parents. Raising such issues prematurely can create tension from the outset and may stall or even bring to an end an otherwise productive and caring relationship.
    • While they say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, this doesn't mean cooking him a three-course meal on the first date. You don't need to prove anything like this; you simply need to be present and engaged in listening, being attentive and sharing your interests.
    • Cherish your time together - it's the only time he will be new to you. That doesn't mean you should be an obsessive girlfriend and crave every second of his time.RelaxBe patient. Enjoy.

Start off on the right foot

  1. 1
    Be honest. While being honest to your guy is very important, to the point of being paramount, it is equally important that you are honest with yourself. If you overreact or make a mistake, you can acknowledge your error and apologize. If you're feeling vulnerable or upset, you can sort through your feelings and verbalize them to him in a non-accusing way. And the most important thing here is that you will open your feelings as much as possible. For example, if he does or says something that bothers you, be open about how it impacts you (without being accusing or asking him to change). If you establish solid lines of communication from the outset, you'll know sooner rather than later whether this relationship will endure or fizzle out.

  2. 2
    Have a positive attitude. If everything you say around him is a criticism or an attack, he won't look forward to seeing you and he'll start reconsidering being with you. All the same, you don't always have to agree with him just because he is your boyfriend. Tactfulness is a better strategy in mature relationships and establishing boundaries and making compromises are important relationship strategies to learn and adopt.
    • No matter what, have a good sense of humor.
    • Share inside jokes together.
    • Be spontaneous now and then––this keeps the sparks and the expectations alive.
    • Be happy but don't force yourself to fake feeling happy about everything. When you're feeling a little blue or you're wanting a deeper discussion about life, tell him if you need a little peace and quiet or a shoulder to lean on; this way, he'll start to see all facets of your personality, along with how you cope with the way that life isn't always ideal.

  3. 3
    Make your desires, needs, and opinions known, even when they may conflict with his. You don't and shouldn't exist solely to please him. Besides, showing that you are your own person with your own needs, desires, and approach to life will keep him interested in getting to know and understand you as a person. Just remember to express yourself in way that doesn't attack anyone else's opinion or lifestyle in any way––you can be humbleand outspoken at the same time by using assertiveness strategies and remaining considerate of his feelings too.

Respect him

  1. 1
    Let him live his life. If you feel entitled to all of his time and attention, learn how to not be an obsessive girlfriend. Don't be an overly protective girlfriend; let him go out without him feeling watched. Remember that he doesn't need you for everything and that you are separate people as well as a couple. When he needs some space, don't take it personally––recognize it for what it is––his time to rejuvenate and to share different interests with others. But do make sure he knows that you're always there for him.
    • If you do find it difficult to let him be, consider examining the issues that cause you to feel clingy. Past experiences in childhood or with previous boyfriends may be causing you to feel insecure or jealous. Counseling can be of assistance if you can't work through such issues alone.

Pay attention to him

  1. 1
    Take an interest in his interests. Remember what he likes to do and what he likes to talk about. You don't have to act like you love his hobbies, but at least try to understand why he's such a fan. If he loves a band, try to understand why. If he just loves to be playful and immature, remember that it might just be his way of releasing stress. In learning to accept his unique way of being, you'll also be learning more about yourself and ultimately whether you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person.

    • Make him something. A paper flower, an artsy heart, something creative that reflects your personality, so that whenever he looks at it, he'll think of you and smile. If you're the musical type, or play an instrument, feel free to play him a song or two (bonus points if you play a song you wrote yourself). Add a private video of your song to YouTube. Watch him melt––he'll remember something so personal for a long time.
  2. 2
    Give him gifts. When you're in a relationship, it's fun to give each other small gifts. Guys love to get presents and giving him one shows that he means a lot to you. Don't overdo it though. You don't want him to think you're trying to buy his affection.

Be yourself

  1. 1
    Be yourself. Don't create a fake you just to impress him. It might be tempting if you think he'd prefer a different type of girl but usually this is just cobbling together snippets of things said or suggested and you're likely to be wrong. After all, he wants to date you, not some imagined form of perfection. And if you really feel tempted to change things about yourself because he insists that you'd be better thinner, taller, prettier, quieter, whatever, then it's a good indication that you're not compatible because if he actually says such things to you in a badgering, persistent manner, then it's not love but an attempt to control you. In that case, you may have to reconsider even staying with him.
    • Don't try to make your boyfriend jealous. This might be a common theme in the movies but it's an action that springs straight from insecurity and unhappiness within yourself. It usually backfires and even if it doesn't, your future relationship is based solely on whether or not you'll be faithful or supportive, which is hardly the stuff of long-term happiness. Be open in your communications rather than using jealousy as a statement.
    • Don't lead him on if you're not into everything. It might be amusing or "safe" to do so initially but it's extremely hurtful when he learns that you don't really love what he loves; he could be basing his thoughts about your role in his future on something that isn't real and it'll end up hurting both of you.
    • If you feel the need to play games with your boyfriend, then you don't know the meaning of a true relationship and you're probably trying to protect yourself rather than enter an equal union. Be honest and open with him. If the two of you are mature, then you will handle the growth of your relationship correctly.

Be affectionate

  1. 1
    Be affectionate. There are various ways to show your affection, some are more obvious than others and the way you approach this will depend on how openly affectionate you like to be personally. Affection is close to but not the same as intimacy––affection is about openly displaying that you care about this person and can be shown any time of day or night, publicly or privately. Think about how you like to show affection to people you care about, such as holding hands, touching an arm, quick kisses on the cheek, a hug, stroking hair, supportive words, mentioning how great someone is in front of other people, etc.
    • Men sometimes like it when a girl gives them a pet name like "Baby" or "Sweetheart." Try not to overdo this, however. It can be a major turn-off if you call them "Mr. Cuddle-Bear", especially in public. Of all things, good communication is the vital part of any relationship, so make sure that he knows how much you like him.
    • Regular lovey-dovey texts and emails can be a plus, but too many will become overwhelming and you may seem clingy. These types of things do show you're into him, and you want it to last forever, but don't come on so much that you scare him!

  2. 2
    Be seductive. Don't be afraid to be seductive. Most men find it irresistible when a girl is sexy, classy and confident. Confidence means being happy within your own skin; you will exude this without trying if you are accepting of yourself and feel secure about your own worth. You don't have to force yourself to be the most popular, bubbly personality if that isn't your style; rather, be the best you on show by taking good care of yourself and trusting that you're worth his attention.

See one another as a team

  1. 1
    As in any healthy relationship, you'll experience your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of teamwork and a symbiotic relationship, not a parasitic one, where a party gives and the other one just takes without giving enough back. In a team, you have each other's back, you don't undermine one another and you openly cherish each other in front of others.
    • In times of hardship, a team approach can help you to work through problems in a less emotionally attached way, in that both of you assume responsibilities for fixing things rather than expecting one or the other to fix things.
    • Avoid having a "one track" relationship in which the bond revolves around one thing. Keep your relationship strong by bringing variety and diversity into the relationship. Try different and new things together. Relationships are about having fun together, learning together and growing together.

Video



EditTips

  • Understand that all relationships are different and that there's no universal way to BE a good girlfriend since everyone has different tastes.
  • If your boyfriend is acting passive toward you, it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't loveyou. It most likely means he is shy or introverted. Perhaps he has never been in a relationship before and just doesn't know how to act. Or maybe he just isn't the kind of guy to shout from the rooftops but he still feels deeply for you. Talk to him about what causes him to act that way and be understanding. Perhaps he's expecting you to take more initiative, because you've had more experience with relationships than he has. Or perhaps it really is just his way and you need to get used to it.
  • Don't let your friends try to manage your relationship. It's your relationship and no one else's. Sure, they'll have their opinions, just as you'll have your opinions about their relationships. But, you don't have to listen to every piece of advice from your friends if you don't want to. And realize that sometimes it's about their incompatibility with your boyfriend and that's okay––not everyone has to click perfectly. Simply agree to hear them out and ask them in turn to try their best to "get along" with him.
  • Let him know he's right when he is. This is a huge confidence booster, just as admitting fault when you're to blame is a great way of smoothing over conflict in a relationship. Learn these skills early on and you'll have the basis for a strong and sharing relationship.
  • Don't forget that he has a life of his own. Just because he didn't call you back for 10 minutes doesn't mean he's been cheating. You cannot be his one and only focus all the time. If you have issues with this, seek counseling to overcome obsessiveness or paranoia.
  • Don't ever let anyone tell you how to live your life and definitely not a boyfriend. Don't let him pressure you; instead, be open about things, including the impact of any demands he makes on you. Equally, don't tell him how to live his life either.
  • Don't try to change him. Just let him know things that you like, if he loves you he will try to do it next time. If he is so very different from the person you envisage spending your life with, consider finding that person instead and treating this relationship as a gift of learning.
  • Don't avoid him or be shy of him when he wears an outfit that you don't like. You can buy something that suits him better or gradually teach him to change his fashion sense through pointing out the styles you like seeing on men.
  • Don't be insecure about your appearance. If he's dating you, he obviously thinks you're attractive. And remember that smiling and be confident about yourself will bring out an inner beauty that is impossible to replicate with makeup, clothes or Botox!
  • When you're out on a dinner date and he offers to pay, consider refusing. Doing so shows him that you aren't just in it for his money. Just remember, if the guy you like is somewhat old-fashioned, he may insist on paying anyway. In this case, let him be a gentleman or his feelings might be hurt.
  • Guys like compliments too!
  • Try to get along with his friends and family. These are most likely people who mean a lot to him, and him having good opinions about you from people he cares about will mean a lot. Try making friends with his friends and his siblings. Make sure you're respectful to his parents and make sure they like you. Try doing little things, like becoming close with his mom or going shopping with his sister.

Warnings

  • Never flirt with his friends! No matter how hot they are to you, you need to assure him that he is the only guy for you. If you feel the need to flirt with them, it indicates that you're not ready for settling into a monogamous relationship.
  • Don't be annoying. Annoying includes constant calls, getting angry when he spends time with friends, pestering him to spend more time with you, whining, complaining about other people all the time, asking for validation all the time (for example, always ending your sentences with "don't you think so?"), etc.
  • Never lie. Don't just be honest, but be open with things as well. Don't leave things unsaid, even if it can be awkward, because this can lead to problems in your relationship down the road. There is such a thing as lying by omission––sometimes you need to say something for the sake of clearing the air where leaving it unsaid would lead him to think the wrong things.
  • Don't look at his phone unless he makes it clear that it's okay. Expect the same in reverse.
  • Don't conduct secret tests on your boyfriend to see what he'll do. It's humiliating, disrespectful and unfair. Plus, you wouldn't want him to do that to you. The same goes for coercing your boyfriend with sex.
  • It's fine to share things with your girlfriends when talking about him, but remember to be respectful of him by not sharing things that are embarrassing, confidential or rude. (Don't kissand tell!) You can keep your girlfriends updated on how the relationship is going, but keep them from getting involved in your relationship, unless abuse or other dangerous activities are taking place, in which case tell them everything and let them help you to leave him. But if you decide you want to share private information about the relationship, make sure he is allowed to do the same with his friends; but don't let him talk about you like an object.
  • Jealousy is a very dangerous emotion. Don't intentionally make him jealous. That will result in ultimately undermining trust for the long run.
  • Know the difference between constructive criticism and criticism that simply lays waste to a person's character because you'd prefer they'd act differently from who they are. In the latter case, you're trying to change him and this can indicate a strong incompatibility, suggesting that you might be better to find someone else.

How to Touch a Girl


Steps

Pay Attention to Her

  1. 1
    Gauge her interest. Do you think she might want to be touched by you? Is she making eye contact? Is she smiling, laughing and having a good time with you? If so, you're on the right track.

    How to Attract Women

     Secrets of How to Attract Women Tips. Step By Step. Advice. More
    www.howtoattract.com
  2. 2
    Observe how she looks at you. If she likes you, she will either hold your gaze for a long time or pull away immediately. Either of these signs could mean that she likes you. If you happen to glance at the girl and you see her staring back at you, then this means that she likes you, although she may quickly dart her head in a different direction. If she pulls away quickly, it could mean she is nervous but still likes you.
  3. 3
    Assess her personality. If she's outgoing and friendly, there is less of a chance she will be upset or taken aback if you try to touch her. If she's shy or more reserved, you may want be more certain she is into you before you touch her.

Be a Gentleman

  1. 1
    Look for opportunities to break the touch barrier in a chivalrous way when you are together.

  2. 2
    Hold her jacket out. If you're both about to leave and she needs to put on a jacket or coat, hold it out for her like a gentleman so that she can slip her arms into the sleeves. The knuckles of your fingers will probablygently brush up against her as you're doing this. If she responds positively and you notice that her hair is between her jacket and her back, pull it out for her carefully
  3. 3
    Offer your hand. This is especially helpful when she might need to keep her balance, such as when she's getting into or out of a car, or when she's stepping over a puddle or any other uneven surface. Women love this because it shows that you are thinking of her and not just yourself. This is more likely to be appropriate if she's dressed nicely or wearing heels.

  4. 4
    Hold out your elbow. This will serve as an invitation for her to hook her arm around yours, especially if you're about to walk together. This is a classically romantic way to walk as a couple without being too touchy-feely.

  5. 5
    Ladies first. Open the door for them and allow her to go first through doors, corridors or small crowds. A nice, firm gesture would be to press with your hand just above her waist, towards the door (or corridor), while saying "after you." Other spots to press would be the back of the arm, just above the elbow (especially recommended if she is wearing short sleeves), or very softly and cautiously on the shoulder.
  6. 6
    Lead the way. If you're about to go through a large crowd, hold out your hand so you can walk through the crowd without losing each other. This not only shows that you care about her, but it also shows that you can take the lead. Once you're out of the crowd, you can continue holding her hand (if she seems to want to).

Notice Something About Her

  1. 1
    Look for anything that may be on her face or hair. It's not uncommon to see a loose eyelash on someone's face, especially the cheek area. If you see one, tell her, "Hold still. You have an eyelash on your face. Let me get it off." Pull it off her face very gently. Don't apply too much pressure, especially if she's wearing make-up. Do the same thing if you see something in her hair like a piece of lint or a ball of dust.

    • You can also lie. Say that she has something in her hair, even if she doesn't actually have anything there, and break the touch barrier this way.
    • If you want to slyly arrange an opportunity, you could take her somewhere where you know she'll probably get something in her hair, like a dusty attic or a part of the woods with low trees.
    • With anything that's on her face or hair that might be embarrassing, (like a piece of food) you'll need to decide whether or not to do this. Some women will be mortified and others will find it humorous.
  2. 2
    Notice something on her hands or hair. Does she have a different ring, a new cut or a different nail color? Acknowledge it verbally ("That's a pretty ring" or "Did you get a new nail color?"). Hold out your hand, palm up, and ask if you can look closer. Inspect whatever is different, and ask a question or make a positive comment.
    • While you're doing all of this, get a feel for how she responds to having her hand in yours. After she has responded to your comment or question, briefly rub her hand with your thumb gently and let it go. Smile and quickly move on.
  3. 3
    Keep her warm. If it's chilly outside and you notice that she's cold or shivering, offer her your coat. Put it around her. Depending on how comfortable she feels around you, you might take your hands and brush them briskly on her upper arms to generate a little heat. If you notice that her hands are cold, tell her to give you her hands and put them together (palm to palm). Put your hands around hers and rub them softly, but quickly to warm hers up. If you're feeling daring, bring her hands up to your mouth and blow a little warm air on them. (This may, in the long run, make her hands colder. Also, don't do this if there's any risk that yourbreath is bad!)

  4. 4
    Notice her actions. If she responded positively to all of the above, make your next move (or risk forever being trapped in the "friend" zone). That could be putting your arm around her shoulder or waist, or holding her hand. The back of the neck and the small of the back are two sensitive areas too.
  5. 5
    Notice she's not interested. If she isn't responding positively to these actions, simply back away. It doesn't necessarily mean she's not interested. She could just be in a bad mood. However, if you've tried this more than once and get the same response, she likely isn't interested in being touched by you.

Avoid Risky Behaviors

  1. 1
    Massages — Don't approach a woman and give her a shoulder massage, even if she complains about being sore or tired. It's not necessarily an invitation to get massaged by you. Even if it might be, don't risk it unless you're confident that you're reading her correctly. It can make a woman veryuncomfortable to be receiving a massage from someone she doesn't fancy, and you're putting her in an awkward position where she has to ask you to stop.

  2. 2
    Grabbing her arm. Don't grab any part of her arm with your hand and pull her to come somewhere with you. At best, this can be interpreted as annoying. At worst, it can come off as an attempt to yank her around. Generally, any kind of pulling or tugging might be interpreted as immature or pushy.

  3. 3
    Touching the chest, pelvic (hips) and upper leg regions. These are usually only acceptable if you are already romantically involved, as these are generally considered sexual areas. An exception to the aforementioned pelvic rule is when dancing, though even then, only place your hands at the sides slightly above the pelvic area. Don't grope or squeeze.

Try Duo Sports

  1. 1
    Dancing. Any kind of partner dancing, such as salsa,tango or swing can be a good way to break the touch barrier. Keep in mind, however, that just because she seems to be having a good time dancing with you doesn't necessarily mean she likes you off the dance floor. It's certainly a start though.

  2. 2
    Ice skating. Ice skating is a great activity for casual physical contact. You can hold her hand to help keep her from falling if she isn't quite getting the hang of it, or to help each other skate backwards. In the cold environment, you may also have the opportunity to help her keep warm.

  3. 3
    Tennis. Have her as your double partner. There will be plenty of opportunities to high-five and playfully touch her after a good shot.

EditVideo

EditTips

  • Always try to have clean, dry hands. If she gets a whiff of the onions you were cutting a few hours earlier, that's not good. If you tend to get clammy hands, carry a dry paper towel in your pocket and use it right before you touch her. Avoid having cold hands, as this will startle her. If this has happened, address the situation with a joke, as this can help break the ice.
  • Some people just don't like being touched a lot. It doesn't have anything to do with you. Some people just enjoy their space and would rather not be touched or held until they are extremely comfortable around you. If this is the case, you might want to take it extra slow.
  • Some women are uncomfortable with touching in certain social situations. In front of family members or her single friends, she might fight being touched more than if you weren't around anyone she knows. Also, if either of you belong to a somewhat conservative religion, the same rules apply when around members of your congregation.
  • Even the most suave "touch moves" won't work if she's bored or uninterested. Keep the conversation lively and make sure you're both having fun.
  • Cracking a joke that's just inappropriate enough to make her slap you on the arm, but appropriate enough to make her laugh at the same time will trick HER into touching YOU. However, these kinds of remarks are high-risk and can get you in hot water among people who are sensitive. Try them at your own risk.

EditWarnings

  • While you might think you're playing it safe and being respectful by not touching her unless she touches you first, you might end up in the friend zone, which is hard to escape. For many people, a big distinction between "friendship" and "relationship" is the way they touch. There are more platonic ways to touch someone. Learn to read body language and if you see a signal in her body language or expression telling you to back off, then respect her boundaries and her feelings by refraining from making further contact.
  • Different cultures have different degrees of receptiveness to physical contact. In Korea, holding hands is a very big deal and hugging or kissing someone in public used to be considered unacceptable. However, doing the same thing in Latin America is taken for granted. In Bulgaria, giving a girl hug for goodbye is just as normal as shaking hands in other places.
  • Shortly after initiating some form of physical contact, if she says that she has to go soon or needs to use the bathroom, then she may not have appreciated the gesture or found it uncomfortable. In some cases, she might be shy after having physical contact with you so you have to be really sure before continuing into more intense physical contact.
  • Note that some people are very affectionate with their friends. A girl might be all about cuddling with you and think she's just being friendly, while you feel like you're getting mixed signals.
  • Don't overdo it! Some girls will find over-the-top chivalry annoying and perhaps even rude